When I write this, I don't even understand what's the point of writing only A MEMORY. I've been through a lot, to be honest, I want to tell you guys many if I was able to.

So, this is early September, right? I cried last night just because of a single tiktok video that appears in my 'for you page' (this b is pretty dumb IKR). It has messed up already in the beginning. Currently, I'm tired of sitting on this freaking chair, looking at my laptop, and doing my assignment... I really want to throw my whole body on my bed and sleep all day.

Edit: I cried (again) after watching a bunch of videos of Stray Kids' I.N cuteness, like, I hope you guys do understand why I'm crying over K-POP boy. I was tired at that time and that guy pull up the sunshine in my gloomy town TT

The only thing I want to talk about by hearing the word 'September' is someone's birthday. I'm confused about should I greet him on his birthday or just act like nothing happened on earth? 

Back then in August, I was enjoying my peaceful life without getting distracted by remembering someone in the past—because I was trying to deal with myself at the moment, and it is not easy. Then, Liza (out of nowhere) asked me, "Why you guys broken up? Is there a reason that he doesn't want to be in a relationship?". 

I don't know what to answer! I defended him by saying there is an internal problem that we can't share. BUT, because I answered that, Liza sent me a video of him posting several photos of this girl's face and they were play Mobile Legend together. 

To be honest I got jealous. She's pretty though. My confidence suddenly burst down. I got deja vu, and it feels like the old me is coming back. All this time I built up a wall of confidence, then it pressed my back again until I wasn't able to stand it more. Every time I said I have already moved on, my little heart said the opposite—I haven't done it yet. 

I'm questioning myself again, should I contact him? What if he already had a new girlfriend? I won't bother them. He knows, how it feels to see your partner still contacting each other with their ex-partner. But, I don't want to prolong this aftershocks I had. I'd like to tell him about how do I feel this last several month even if it's unnecessary. We used to talk in every social media and I want to start the conversation at a platform where we both haven't contacted in there. Idk, it might feel hurtless (I hope).

Edit: turned out that the girl mf posted back then is just a random girl he invited to play from facebook like what the hell